Daylight Awareness & Prevention Agency, Inc.

Shining the light on dating violence and domestic abuse.


A Good Man

Posted on February 20, 2017 at 1:30 PM

After having many conversations with counselees, friends, coworkers and family members it is very clear to me that every woman has her own definition of a "Good Man". After being in an abusive marriage I am very clear on what a "Good Man" is and is not to me. Each definition of a "Good Man" seems to be based on the needs, wants, and experiences of each woman.



Some women are after material things only. So for those women, a "Good Man" is a man who can provide them with them those material things or the funds needed to acquire them. These women do not require any attention or affection from the man providing the material goods. All they want from him is money and will do whatever is necessary to acquire what they want. Most often these women are never satisfied and always wants more. They are constantly comparing what they have or don't have to someone else.



There are women who prefer men who allows them to wear the pants in the relationship. These women dictate what their man can and can't do. These women treat their man like he's her son. They are never pleased with him and only see the worst in him. He must work to make her happy at all times. In this relationship she is very often verbally abusive and can also be physically abusive.



Then there are the women that are looking for the man that is good in the bedroom. He's a "Good Man" solely based on his ability to please her in the bedroom. She desires for him to make her sexual fantasies come true. He must deliver or he will be quickly replaced. This is usually the woman that has her own money, house and car. She's not looking for affection. She's not looking to connect only any other level. No, he cannot spend the night or come over without being summoned. For her he's merely a night cap.



Next, is the woman who is tired of the games. She's looking a nice fellow who is tired of the games as well.. He's respectful, goes to church, treats her kind. No baby mama drama. He knows how to treat her and spend time with her. She can see a future with him. She enjoys his company whether it's movie night at the house or a night out on the town.



Then there are those women that may have more than one "Good Man" in her life. They each have their assigned duties and place. However, they must be careful to not cross over into another lane as this is grounds for dismissal.



Another kind woman has been hurt more than once by either the same man or multiple men. She has sworn off relationships so all men she encounters remain in the friend zone. She may flirt with them via text or phone conversation but that's as far as it is going. In her mind all men are dogs and can't be trusted. She holds on to all the hurt and pain from the last man and blames it on any new man that enters her life. She has yet to allow any man to help her unpack her baggage, especially since he would have to get close to her to do that.



Unfortunately, there is also the woman that seeks to hurt every man that comes into her life. Her mission is to collect as many hearts as possible. Bitterness and hurt rules her world. She is consumed with getting revenge but hurts those who has never hurt her. This is the woman that gets in the middle of other's relationships. Constantly trying to prove her girlfriend's man is no good. Always has an attitude and in a bad mood.



There are many "Good Men" out there just as there are many "Good Women". If all you run into is "Bad Men" or "Bad Women" you might need to check the man or woman in the mirror.



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